are you so shy because you have an std?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize