the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
