Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
