it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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