haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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