i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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