we have pet lesbian snakes
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
