he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why can't burritos get me drunk
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
