We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
