Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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