your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
