What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize