I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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