I need help removing her.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
