there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize