ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
