Where did you get a picture of my penis
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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