I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize