I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
