I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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