Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
