I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
