Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
