What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
