I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
