Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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