We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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