He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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