If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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