Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
