their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
