Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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