I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
