woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize