It's Friday. Sex?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
