check it out our google latitudes are spooning
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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