so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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