it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
