i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
