I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
