Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
