I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
