how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
