i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
