you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
