just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
