He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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