I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
