At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
