high people should be assigned attendants
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
