oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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