Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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