3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize