Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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