im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
