hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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