question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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