You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
