i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
