nut hugger
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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