Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
