Fuck appropriateness.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
