u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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