well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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