i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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