imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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