Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
