Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
