U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're like the curious george of whores
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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