p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
In America we eat man semen.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
