I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
