It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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