I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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