There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
